Over the last few weeks, it’s been tempting to start thinking about myself and how the situation our family is facing, is affecting me directly. It’s not something I want to do because I know that going there is where I’ll start to feel sorry for myself, and complain, and get selfish.
About 6 weeks ago my brother-in-law had a motorbike accident, which put him in a coma for 3 weeks, and turned our lives upside down. I stayed with my sister 24/7 that whole first week.
You might be thinking “So what on earth are you talking about? This isn’t happening to you, it’s happening to his wife and daughter (my sister and niece).
Instant disclaimer: I love being there for my family; this has nothing to do with that. There is never a moment when I don’t want to be there for them. I don’t for one second believe that this is happening to me, or I know or can compare anything to what my sister is going through. Because I don’t! I’m just using this circumstance as an example for the unexpected situations we find ourselves in!
On the way to the hospital one day, I started thinking to myself, “I really don’t have time for this; I don’t want to go to the hospital anymore, I don’t want to have my everyday altered or taken up by this – I just don’t want to go through this.”
Funny how the phrase we use is “go through this”, indicating that we are definitely going to come out the other end. Which I completely believe, but when you start to think about where you are and how you’re going to escape a situation (when you can’t) you tend to get stuck there. Not just physically but mentally.
It’s so easy to start worrying about and get impatient with our circumstances, right?
I find a lot of the time, most people who are down and depressed are usually so because they think about themselves and their situation constantly. Leading to feelings of hopelessness and frustration with their life, mostly based a lot of the time on things that you cannot essentially change. A place I don’t want to be!
Sitting in the car that day on the way to the hospital looking out the window, I felt as though God was impressing in me that I didn’t need to think about myself, or worry or get impatient, because He has enough thoughts about me and toward me than I could ever have about myself or for myself – and all of His thoughts about me are positive! – Sometimes that’s the hardest part to believe.
We’re all familiar with Jeremiah 29:11 that says: “I know the PLANS I have for you…”
I was thinking about it that day in the King James Version that says… “For I know the THOUGHTS that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”
Over the several weeks that have followed that first week, I’ve kept on repeating this thought and idea, (which is in fact reality) in my mind, reminding myself that God has got me. That everything is going to be ok. That we are all going to get through this, and that it is only temporary.
Psalm 139:17-18 (NLT) how precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! The comfort I’ve received from this over the last few weeks is incredible.
The only THOUGHT I need to dwell on is that God is THINKING about me.
So I don’t have to.