Surrender is a Safe Place

Surrender – səˈrɛndə/

Recently I’ve been wrestling with an idea; its philosophical as much as it is theological. In the context of my life and the span of my days — my tomorrow’s — the unknown, the things I can’t control but really, really want to.

Speaking to my humanity Jesus said “Here’s what I want you to do: find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense His grace. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up.”

Today, I find myself on the verge of a crumble, it’s not an episode, I’m not depressed or in a spiral… it’s just life. At a basic level I’m in-between desire and disappointment, trying to manage and balance both. I’m facing ‘what if’s’ and ‘whatever’s’ as I try to dismiss the reality that I can’t control everything… I can’t wave a magic wand and I don’t control tomorrow…

And so, I surrender.

I position myself to resist resisting, I give in and give up, I climb down from the idea that I’m in control, I stop the role play before God in a moment of reflective reality, I crumble before God…

And so, I surrender.

I fall at the feet of His beautiful, knowing that blessed are those who recognise their need for Him, we fall at the cross and worship at His feet, surrendering me.

I surrender my today and give Him my tomorrow knowing that my days rest in the palm of His hand.

I fight my will to surrender to His, wrestling with myself to let the light of the gospel extend to every area of my life, can I surrender everything is a question that can only respond in a resounding yes – I have to.

I can crumble, I can stand down, I can fall in front of Him… surrender is a safe place!