Last night I stubbed my toe. In the middle of the night; the winter cold makes the pain so much worse. I find these little things really inconvenient, I’m not the most patient person.
This morning I was immediately reminded of the night’s event when came time to put on my shoes… all day I’m going to be working through this annoyance. The drive from point A to point B sees my mind come back to a place of pain, not the pinkie toe that calls out reminding me of my clumsiness but a hurt that’s metastasising into something more serious. Later and in real time as I write this blog (confessional) I’ve stopped for some devotional time-out as I know I’m in desperate need to reach for God (Matthew 6:33, Deuteronomy 4:29).
I’m reading a book that has my interest but has lost my attention. I’m reading the words but I’m not translating them — a number of thoughts track through my brain, mostly driven by emotion tethered in frustration. I’m disappointed and possibly hurt, definitively wounded. I’m finding myself fighting with perspective searching for balance, it’s difficult to do in the middle of a heavy fog. How we navigate these moments determines if we come out more lost than ever or on a trajectory that sees us go forward.
I know more than ever I need the wisdom and love of God driving my responses, not the emotion connected to my hurt. This is the very definition of ‘situation critical’ with flashing lights and alarm bells ringing everywhere! God must be guiding this heart so I come out the right way up.
If Jesus isn’t the captain of this ship, a great storm lies ahead full of rough seas and heavy rain. This is the moment when we have to surrender it all to Him, that alone is a wrestle with every fibre of your being, giving it to God is what makes a way for healing and restoration to follow, we can’t be healed of what we ultimately don’t let go of.
Salvation starts when we give Jesus our heart and allow Him to move in.
Healing comes when we nail it to the cross and let restoration do its natural work. It’s there that He makes all things new. Old things pass away when they are let go, (2 Corinthians 5:7) there He ushers in restoration and healing flows like a river.
The Psalmist wrote, “I remain confident of this, that I will see the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalms 27:13-14)
I realise my pain has less to do with my offender than it has to do with me and my Healer.
Seeing God in the land of the living is looking for God in the middle of my hurt. Make no mistake it’s a land; a place where if we are not careful we can wander like lost nomads. It’s a land where people can enter but never escape… Is it any wonder that the Lord would be found there reaching out as a way of escape?
A prayer begins to flow in my head and out of my heart, God lead me through as I search for you, light my path as I navigate hurt and strengthen my heart as I wait for you.
Oh, God, heal my pinkie toe!